teach your children well…

My daughter has recently gone out with a man a few times (a little more than hanging out, but not yet dating? I don’t know, but it’s not important for this particular blog entry.) She said to me “Mom, I have never been treated like this before, with such respect. He opens car doors for me, he seems to really listen when I talk, and he hasn’t put any moves on me.”  My first thought was why would she allow anyone to treat her any other way, but I kept that thought to myself… for now. But it did start me thinking and when something is on my mind, I discuss it with people whom I strive to live my life like… One friend, a man who is a strong “literal bible believing” man (and whose opinions I seek out and respect), had this comment when I told him what my daughter had said…

“Isn’t that sad… that someone who treats people with respect is the exception rather than the norm.”

And, as things often seem to happen, this little picture showed up in my email. It’s funny how those “random” things happen when you need some sort of reinforcement, encouragement, or direction… and by “random” I mean totally not random and totally God sent…

So… back to my first thought about why my daughter would let someone treat her any way other than with respect… I guess it comes down to I didn’t teach her that she deserved to be respected and probably didn’t teach my son “to be that kind of man” either. Parenting is so hard and we can only do our best at the time. It’s one of those ‘jobs’ that you REALLY need an owner’s manual, a study guide, and a procedure book complete with checklists. It’s a job that is given to people when they are way too young to handle a position with that much responsibility. I so wish I could do it again with the knowledge and wisdom I have now. But I can’t, all I can do now is pray that since she’s seen how a “real man” treats a woman that she will never settle for less. And I pray that my son becomes that kind of man. I pray daily for the people my children will eventually choose as life partners. I pray that those people know God and have a daily “working” relationship with Him. There is nothing harder than relationships and marriage, and even harder than marriage is a GOOD marriage. I know I have fallen short in the parenting category but with a humbled heart and with my face to the floor, I pray my son grows and becomes a “real man” and my daughter continues to grow into the treasure I know she is.

blue roses…

The author on this was listed as “unknown”, but wow, what a reminder to us all… Not just to slow down enough to smell the roses, but a reminder to show kindness and compassion to everyone! I believe that the measure of a man is not how he treats his boss, the celebrity, or the popular person; but how he treats those who are of no apparent “worth” to him (the ones who have nothing to offer him or his career), those who answer to him, and those who know him the best (sometimes those we are closest to are the ones we treat the most shabbily).  Life should celebrate the Blue Roses, the Dandelions, and every flower in the garden…

Having four visiting family members, my wife was very busy, so I offered to go to the store for her to get some needed items, which included light bulbs paper towels, trash bags, detergent and Clorox.

So off I went.

I scurried around the store, gathered up my goodies and headed for the checkout counter, only to be blocked in the narrow aisle by a young man who appeared to be about 16 years old. I wasn’t in a hurry, so I patiently waited for the boy to realize that I was there. This was when he waved his hands excitedly in the air and declared in a loud voice, “Mommy, I’m over here.”

It was obvious now, he was mentally challenged and also startled as he turned and saw me standing so close to him, waiting to squeeze by. His eyes widened and surprise exploded on his face as I said, “Hey Buddy, what’s your name?”

“My name is Denny and I’m shopping with my mother,” he responded proudly.

“Wow,” I said, “that’s a cool name; I wish my name was Denny, but my name is Steve.”

“Steve, like Stevarino?” he asked.  “Yes,” I answered. “How old are you Denny?”

“How old am I now, Mommy?” he asked his mother as she slowly came over from the next aisle.

“You’re 15 years old Denny; now be a good boy and let the man pass by.”

I acknowledged her and continued to talk to Denny for several more minutes about summer, bicycles and school. I watched his brown eyes dance with excitement, because he was the center of someone’s attention. He then abruptly turned and headed toward the toy section.

Denny’s mom had a puzzled look on her face and thanked me for taking the time to talk with her son. She told me that most people wouldn’t even look at him, much less talk to him.

I told her that it was my pleasure and then I said something I have no idea where it came from, other than by the prompting of the Holy Spirit. I told her that there are plenty of red, yellow, and pink roses in God’s Garden; however, “Blue Roses” are very rare and should be appreciated for their beauty and distinctiveness. You see, Denny is a Blue Rose and if someone doesn’t stop and smell that rose with their heart and touch that rose with their kindness, then they’ve missed a blessing from God.

She was silent for a second, then with a tear in her eye she asked, “Who are you?”

Without thinking I said, “Oh, I’m probably just a dandelion, but I sure love living in God’s garden.”

She reached out, squeezed my hand and said, “God bless you!” and then I had tears in my eyes..

May I suggest, the next time you see a BLUE ROSE, don’t turn your head and walk off. Take the time to smile and say Hello.   Why?   Because, by the grace of GOD, this mother or father could be you. This could be your child, grandchild, niece or nephew. What a difference a moment can mean to that person or their family.

From an old dandelion! Live simply. Love generously. Care deeply. Speak kindly. Leave the rest to God.

“People will forget what you said, People will forget what you did, but people will never forget how you made them feel!”